I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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