Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
