like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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