There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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