I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
