between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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