at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
