Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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