My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
