I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
