apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize