What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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