i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
