3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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