Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize