If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
