he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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