i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
