how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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