You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
