Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The ass gains better be worth it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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