is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
