im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize