Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
