just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
