But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize