State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
