So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
