smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
