I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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