do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
no you cant smoke seaweed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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