Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
