When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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