This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize