I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
