why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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