i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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