ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
