i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize