Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
