I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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