Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
