your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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