Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
