I don't think brook has ever known best
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
