She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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