one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
