They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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