i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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