Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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