How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
