Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
