Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
