Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sex in a hospital.. check
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
