Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
