I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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