her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
