i permit you to call me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My balls are so social today.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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