I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
