Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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