I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
