girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Two words: nipple clamps
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