thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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