Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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