yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
