she was so not down for the gang bang
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize