When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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