I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
